First Love

On the first day of summer break
the last one before first grade
Mom wakes me up
says camp starts today

We get ready
leave the house

We drive
windows half open
the air feels light
the sky is pale blue
no clouds
Mom sings songs by Meir Ariel

Seeds of Summer

July first
nineteen ninety-five
the pool at Kibbutz Barkai

We arrive at the meeting point
I don't know anyone
Mom introduces me to the counselor
we put my bag aside

Mom asks how I feel
I say I'm scared
I don't know anyone here
what if they don't like me
like they did in kindergarten

Mom smiles
says I always make friends

She stays with me a little longer
then they ask the parents to leave
we hug
she says she'll come back in the afternoon

The counselor says
there's one more boy
who will arrive soon

Behind the bags
a small grove
many pine trees
and one oak
large

I sit beneath it
look around
everyone is a stranger

I breathe
and wait

Then I see
a woman and a boy
entering the camp

I can't
take my eyes off them

They stop
and something in time
stops with them

The woman places a hand on the boy
her lips move
the boy smiles

She points toward the counselor
and the boy runs toward us

The run is short
and long
at the same time

A light breeze passes
bringing with it
something new

Butterflies

Now
everything narrows
to the boy

The fear disappears
in its place
a soft quiet

Then
my heart beats
my body gets confused
hard to tell
what is real
and what is imagined

I breathe
and the air
fills me

Love

I stand up
and walk toward him

He stops in front of me

— Hi
Hi

We look
at each other

— Do you want to be friends?
We already are

And quietly
without anyone noticing
a friendship is born
simple
and true

Epilogue

The truth is
there isn't much to say
about first love

But writing
brings me back there
to the moment
when fear turns
into closeness

To simple sentences
like
let's be friends
let's play
let's laugh

And the sun
that rises
thirty years later
is still shining